April 25, 2006

Yellow Cars... Proof we have too much freedom!

Yellowcar.jpgTonight while watching the Yankees play the devil rays thinking how pathetic I am, an unbelievable commercial came on. You know I'm all for celebrity endorsements, but I like when it's believable. Sure supermodels probably do wear maybelline and tiger woods probably does have an american express black card. However, there is no way, even if Derek Jeter is from jersey that he drives a yellow mustang. I like that he's pitching the american company that needs a face lift and I thought it was a good match. That was until in the latest commercial they do a "cribs" of his apartment and then show all his Ford cars, including a quick shot of him in a yellow mustang. Mustang ok, but the yellow car is not acceptable. I really wonder who introduced the yellow car to america? was it the 70's and the dodge dart? I know the yellow chevvette was popular. I have had the powder blue car many o times in my life, but never will make the jump to yellow unless I make the career move to cabbie.

Posted by Patrick at 08:36 PM | Comments (0)

March 14, 2005

Join My Class Action Suit

canseco.jpg Why haven't I been blogging in a week or so? Because I am hard at work with my lawyers building a people vs baseball steroid users. You are saying I know we have all been had by juiced baseball players, doing the homerun bash during wiffle ball games and cheering on the Sosa-McGuire home run battle. Well I am taking a different angle on this and it is going to be my way to the financial freedom. You can compare this scenario to the fall of enron. In Enron they cooked the books similar to the way these baseball players cooked their muscles. As a result they got stuck with class action suits from pension funds, investors, etc. What's interesting in that scenario after they paid off all the lawyers there was probably no money left for you and me. Here is my case CRAZY 80's BASEBALL CARD COLLECTORS VS BASEBALL ROID HEADS!!- I am suing for the lost value of my investment in my Barry Bonds, Mark Mcguire and Jose Canseco rookie. These things are plummeting fast - you could get about 50 cents on ebay for this crap!! Kids who grew up in the 80's are getting screwed. I bet my dad's 1986 paycheck on the fact that barry bonds was going to be the homerun king!! my 86 topps traded set was supposed to buy my first vette!! I was a baseball card freak and I dragged my dad down with me. We were going to shows, buying pack after pack of cards, buying every brand that hit the market.. fleer, dunross, skybox, upper deck, topps. Well I shouldn't have to bear this loss and what's different about this compared to Enron is that bonds, mcguire and canseco have money - lots of it! I'm gonna get me some of it!bonds.JPG I'm suing for the amount i spent on baseball cards as compared to if I just had my dad buy me microsoft stock. I probably spent 10k of his money. If we had put that into microsoft when it went public in 86, instead of buying tons of packs of cards to get a canseco rookie, we would have 2.5 million dollars (7 million during the internet boom) I am suing for 2.5 million. Can you imagine how the guy who bought mcguire's record homerun feels? Wish me luck on this and sign up in the comments if you want to join my fight. Lawyers are standing by to take your calls. I'm going to be taking it to baseball parks across america!
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Posted by Patrick at 05:44 PM | Comments (1)

February 21, 2005

Please have Rush The Court Etiquette

Something is really driving me nuts about college basketball lately. The rushing the court phenomenon after every victory is taking away from truly great moments when an unranked team takes out the number one team in the country. This weekend, the 6th ranked Boston College Eagles rushed the court after beating 9th Ranked Syracuse AT HOME!! Here are the rules. This is simply ridiculous and it's one of those things that schools will let happen until something really bad happens, similar to the NBA. Colleges, which supply the smart people, don't always use the same techniques they apply in the classroom. It's risk analysis 101. Everyone is following Duke and putting their student section on the court. College dorks who can't pass gym are believing that they are part of the game. They've gone so far as to chant FU JJ Redick every time the duke guard touches the ball. Now they are going on to the court after every game and taunting players on their personal cell phones. I don't understand why anyone would camp out to see a basketball game - maybee it's because of the ban on alcohol on campus or just more dorks. I like this idea from an arena who is fining the school. I don't mean to sound old, but if this continues this way one day the NCAA will be sorry.

Posted by Patrick at 06:33 PM | Comments (5)

January 30, 2005

Are you ready for some indoor football?

logo_thumbnail.gif For guys this weekend it simply feels weird. something is missing - It's cold, snow on the ground and there is no football. Although we have the superbowl next week, we get a taste this weekend of what it's going to be like until september. February is the lamest sports month of the year for normal people. Normal meaning you aren't counting down the days until the daytona 500 in February. NBA is simply weak, Golf isn't that exciting and no hockey (but who cares except canada),and march madness is a month away. I sat around today wondering how am i going to spend my sundays this winter until baseball starts up. I was amused when NBC tried to trick me by sneaking a good old game of indoor football between the championship week and the superbowl. It's as if they think guys are silly enough to think the superbowl is this week and then we will get hooked on a no defense, grocery packing quarterback to lawnmower receiver guy, indoor extravaganza. Well i'm not buying i honestly think not one guy besides bon jovi (owner of the philly team that is not going to the superbowl) can watch this sport for more than five minutes. it's insane! Oh well we will miss you football. I hope the giants don't suck next year and i am rooting for the eagles since i am against anything that is associated with boston, new england or clam chowder!

Posted by Patrick at 05:31 PM | Comments (0)

January 21, 2005

Coffee Cup Lid Reviews

I am back and I have something that really has been driving me crazy. It's been driving me mad ever since I got a full starbucks coffee spilled all over me on the subway. Was it the idiot's fault with the coffee? I think not. She actually wasn't even drinking it. The liability for this falls on Starbucks and even more so on the small coffee shops for copying their stupid cup design. They give you these awful cups and you walk and spill them all over yourself.

I am not a huge fan of starbucks, but i'm not going to go on a i hate starbucks rant. Currently, Starbucks is a very good corporate citizen. As they continue to grow into a larger company they will face more and more criticism and will have to cut benefits they offer. I mean look at Wal-mart. It used to be the best place to work and now they are facing critics from every town. Here is what i don't like about starsucks

- Basically, i don't like their coffee. I get better coffee at home with my senseo.
- I don't like their need to put one on every corner for yuppy ipod geeks to hang out in all day. Go to a bar they have coffee and i bet the bartender is more interesting than the cashier!
- I don't like how a small is a tall and grande - that's crap.

Worst of all i hate their coffee cup. You need to add a silly cardboard protector so you won't become a burn victim. Coffee leaks out the backside while you are drinking and most of all when you transport your coffee, it flies all over the place and then you have the oil dripped starbucks coffee smell on you all day.

I asked myself why do we put up with this? Well i found out that no one has ever reviewed on the go coffee cups and told them they suck really really bad! That they ruined my bagel because i spilled my coffee on it. Below I rank some recent portable cups i have used - as always my scale goes to 11

bucks.jpg This is the worst of them all. The cup construction is weak and the always open sipper provides major spillage. It makes me crazy when I see it on the streets and it gets a big fat zero for not doing it's homework on the market! 3 bucks for a damm coffee!

Score: 0


greek coffee.jpgThis is your average deli coffe cup. Not the best but not that bad either. At the very least you can walk with it covered. If you uncover it, however, you are screwed. You can' lose the whole cup in a matter of seconds. For my rating you have to factor in that you didn't pay 3 bucks for it - you paid 75 cents

Score 5


top.jpg This is a spill proof top. Great when you are on the run. But it's actually not 100% spill proof. When you push down on the tab with your mouth like a freak the excess liquid can spill driving you mad. This cup takes a little to get used to and you have to like styrofoam. I love styrofoam and is it that bad for the environment? na.

Score 9


res.jpg This is another good design only offered at hard core delis. It has a resevoir for any spillage. There are 2 small holes with good flowage. the weakness of this cup is that it cuts down on the amount of coffee. Also, if the top does come off you are hosed.

Score 8



regular.jpg
The small coffee shops that offer a great alternative to starbucks rock, but they forgot one thing the cup. They use the same one as the lamest place on earth. By trying to be environmentally conscious they offered customers a sucky cup and for that they get nothing.

score 0


dunkin.jpg The same people that brought you the microwaved breakfast sandwich, the munchkin, and the ultimate donut, bring you a kick ass coffee cup. YOu control the spill. It offers a top that covers the spout and then attaches to the opposite side. When you want to pick up and go again you just flip it over. Time to make the donuts guy is a genius! why hasn't dunkin donuts taken over the world like it has in boston. When i lived there i had an iv hooked up to that place. Great work dunkin donuts you rock and i'd be happy with you on every corner.

score 11


Posted by Patrick at 04:25 PM | Comments (3)

January 05, 2005

A few rants for today

Here are some rants and links for today.
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- This is a sign telling you to take the B line from 53rd and 7th to 59th and 7th to shop at the new cheesy time warner center. Why can't we walk 6 blocks anymore?

- Here is a photo blog entry of 2 guys in a park that is literally right next to my apartment. These guys can be found passed out later in the evening at my doorstep. I'm really not kidding. Small World!

- Healthy people are trying to close McDonalds at Hospitals. What are they serving it to the patients? Hospitals are depressing enough and now I have to get a salad when i'm there? How bout they look at how McDonalds markets to urban youth and are packed after school ends.

- I just found this one but am hoping it will go through - a surf park in manhattan on randalls island

- I overheard a guy saying that only 6 cents out of every dollar gets to tsunami victims. Life is about talking points and this guy should get off that one. What a moran. Are we going to ship water across the world. Money and prayers is the best thing we can do. I recommend americares as a viable charity.

Posted by Patrick at 05:54 PM | Comments (1)

December 24, 2004

ebay is out of control

First that silly grilled cheese with the virgin Mary on it for 15k (which inspired this item ). Now some idiot is auctioning off his kid's xmas gifts because they were bad. The auction is up to 1100 bucks for a nintendo ds. What a suprise the guy is from texas! This guy will show his kids a thing or 2 with his new 10 gallon hat. I wouldn't bid on this in a million years, but this David Hasselhoff iPod is on my christmas list. Just a tip on ebaying, don't get caught up in the emotion of winning and don't bid on anything that can be fraudulant (autographs,antiques,tickets)

Posted by Patrick at 03:46 PM | Comments (0)

December 22, 2004

There is no need for the warehouse value q-tips

qtip.jpgI am fascinated by people who shop at Costco's and Sam's club and buy in bulk to save on the unit price. Katchup bottles that you can't even lift or coffee cannisters the size of a washtub. Since I've been living on my own I rarely participate in these clubs, however one time I did buy the warehouse value q-tips and this week I finally say goodbye to them. 2 years, 3 cities (if you count fishkill ny as a city) and 4 apartments later, I can finally go to Duane Reed and get the right size for me. You can't lose them, they will follow you. I just went to q-tips website and just found out that I could have speed up the process of using the q-tips if i would have thought outside the ear. Here are a few uses they highlight: clean your cell phone, paint with them, or clean your music tapes? (a little bit of a stretch) Good luck with that marketing campaign and people please don't multitask while cleaning your ears - no joke.

Posted by Patrick at 11:10 AM | Comments (3)

Lets analyze my mailbag

After my launch email to friends last week and securing over 5 readers a day, mail started to pour in from at least 3 states. New Jersey folks said hey can i get that NJ t-shirt at the WAWA?, some say they enjoy and laugh, while others say I am a loser that has way too much time on my hands. To the too busy people I say, take a look at the person who is typing in the keyboard. First, of all blogs are painless and are as simple as putting thoughts down and then complementing with this new thing called a Dig-i-tal camera. Think of the time that is wasted in a day, bs-ing at work, surfing the internet, flipping channels, or sitting in a freaking starbucks. I have refocused that energy. The american way is tell everyone just how busy you are to feel as though we are so productive and accomplished, meanwhile we are simply adding stress and becoming less productive with tools like the blackberry. If you have kids it's a whole other story, but interesting enough all the folks who sent me an email saying i have too much time on my hands don't have kids! So to those folks who wrote to me, i say this: i know there is something you are dying to do and using the excuse of no free time - go ahead start a jug band, volunteer, take a wood carving class - it's never too late.

Posted by Patrick at 10:40 AM | Comments (0)

December 03, 2004

We're Not Birds, We're a Jugband!

emmet_otter_christmas_l.jpgLooking for what Christmas shows to watch this year? There are only 2 Christmas shows that you need to watch every year. Not Charlie Brown, not the cheesy iterations of frosty. The first is Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas. This one goes well with spiked egg nog! It is by far the funniest, randomist christmas special ever. Jim Henson outdid himself with this one. The other is Rudulph, who turns 40 this year. The special effects rock compared to new animations, such as the incredibles. It also gave us everyone's favorite christmas character, the abominale snowman!
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Posted by Patrick at 05:49 PM | Comments (0)